i met jacqui at a wedding ceremony that she performed on the lower east side yesterday. before the vows were taken, she said some very inspiring words about marriage, love and faith. though she wasn't offering these words of wisdom directly to me, she offered them nonetheless, and i would like to share just a tidbit of what she said.
she spoke of true love being like water. sometimes it is hot, with passion and lust. but sometimes it is cool, like a cool sip of water on a summer day, being exactly what the other one needs; being there for each other, and knowing how to refresh and renew the other. sometimes it is warm, like how soaking in warm water can soothe achy joints and tired limbs. and heaven forbid, some days, it might even be icy- but with enough effort to warm it back up, it can and soon will become warm again.
i was fortunate enough meet and speak with her after the wedding, and was delighted to find that she is even more dynamic on an individual level than she was even in that stirring gospel wedding ceremony. if i can grow up to be as warm-hearted, full of life, and loving as she was to me, then i will have definitely done something right.
she showed genuine interest in me, which made me feel so validated. i think that is another important secret of life: validate the people who surround you, and you will create an atmosphere of happy, confident people where ever you go.
thank you jacqui, for your example and wisdom.
Kate,
ReplyDeleteWhat fabulous wisdom you gleaned from her! That is one of life's lessons that is difficult to attain in a more conformist environment, because there is such a force pushing towards acceptance via conformity.
When you are an outlier, as many artists tend to be, and you find yourself bound to be true to yourself, and that inner voice -or the Spirit that guides you to march a bit differently, there are very few to validate you -
I tend to frighten people- and the older I get, the more exasperated the mainstream seems to become with me, thus creating a huge divide between those that 'get' me and are my fiercely devoted friends vs. those I will always make uncomfortable.
BUT I have made a very conscious choice of late to make every effort possible to validate others, and this really seems to diminish the barriers. People are MUCH less fearful of my nonconformity when I take the time to appreciate them, and pay REAL attention to who they are.
And in the end I have found that EVERY person is unique in their own way. But I have to take the focus off of myself and have genuine concern for others before that little transformation occurs. It's a bit of a mini miracle every time I see those barriers melt in Utah County.
But sometimes you need the big city and the diversity to unveil these truths. That one is a gem. Hold on to it when you return. Don't let the APPEARANCE of conformity fool you, because down inside -if you really take the time to know people, you will find that there is incredible diversity in this little valley. And they are all starved for validation.
LOVE YA!
I like the water analogy!
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